Church Attendance: I was hurt at church is a helpful article on how to deal with getting hurt at church, different situations.

Church Attendance: I was hurt at church

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Church Attendance: I was hurt at church is a helpful article on how to deal with getting hurt at church, different situations.

There are different situations: Know the difference

As a pastor, I have been involved with people who were hurt at my church in the past. I would take a different point of view from some. There are people who say, “If somebody offended you at church, then never go back to any church.” To me, as a pastor and Christian, that is just the devil talking. You have obligations before God, and one of those is to attend a good church, that is sound in the faith. So there is a very big difference in “writing off” all churches, and having a bad experience in one church, and you really need to find a different church.

Hebrews 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

1 Corinthians 13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Psalms 119:97 MEM. O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day.

1 Peter 4:9 Use hospitality one to another without grudging.

Philippians 2:2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.

There is a very keen focus in this verse on assembling (not attending church, but participating with your presence and energies in the thing called “church”) in this verse. The entire point is for exhortation. This should come from the preaching, so that the net effect of listening to sermons and Sunday School classes over time is that your spiritual life is better. But there is an exhortation one on one among the membership. Satan inserts his evil people into a church, dresses them as “good Christians”, and they destroy the church from the inside.

As a wise Christian, you need to be able to discern when there are people like this, and basically stay away from them, do not let them “adversely affect you” in your spiritual life. As a pastor, so many people are just immature. By that, I mean they take offense when they should just brush unthinking words by immature people off. Ignore them completely. Don’t let them “get to you.”

Know the difference between an offense and getting your toes stepped on

Another matter is that God’s entire purpose of having a church for His children every week is to exhort them. Any church that is good at all will present what God says about sin, condemning it. They will exhort or urge the people to stop practicing that sin. If that is why you are offended, you need to “man up” on your Christianity, and change your life. What they did was not wrong, but was right.

When the Church Abuses its Members, Leave it and Find a Good Church

The problem with Christians being hurt at church is that we do not expect that to happen from other Christians, nor from the church community. While people sin, and even Christians sin, it is not expected. This is made much worse when the ones doing the hurting are the church leaders. That makes things worse.

See articles on Error-Abuse

    From a ministry standpoint, I, being a pastor, I have to immediately identify a church that hurts or abuses its members is just going to be classified as a false prophet, and after meditating on the facts, maybe you should just leave immediately and never return. Cut off communications with all people there. A Christian should unilaterally reject and run from a false prophet when he discerns that a preacher, teacher, or church is representing a false prophet or false doctrine.

    You need to do some self-analysis. What exactly happened to cause your hurt? Was it a quick and unthinking statement by somebody? Were you involved in the event in the sense that you did something wrong or provoked what happened in some way?

    1 Peter 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

    If somebody was unthinking, forgiving them may be the route to go. Angst that is fostered in the heart will ruin you as a Christian. Holding a grudge is not Christian. Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.

    Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

    Over the years, there have been a lot of things that, very simply, the Christian is “at a disadvantage“. This is because we are not to get even with people who show aggression to us. My conclusion in meditating on these things is that the difference between a Christian and an unsaved person is that the Christian believes firmly that God is on the throne. That means, God will repay every person for what they have done, what they are. This keeps us from sin, and it is an assurance to the believer that God will repay us for all the wrong things done against us in this life. If you firmly believe in that, bad things that others do to you should not disturb you. It should make you review your life that you are not the cause of these things in some minor way even.

    God will judge sin, and He will repay to each what they have planted in this life.

    Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Galatians 6:8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. Galatians 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

    In other words, a believer relies on what God has declared and promised to us. People who do bad things to others will get the same thrown back at them by God. We do not have to strive to have our vengeance. We should not sit down and cry in a corner, either. The mark of a mature person is that they are not moved by simple abusive talk, or even when people do things to them, they brush it off. They tortured and killed Christ, yet he prayed for their souls.

    Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

    Living Above Petty Things

    Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

    Even the bad things that happen to us, God is in control of everything in our lives. God uses the bad things to make us into valuable spiritual property for God and His Kingdom. Do not underestimate that. Use the bad things as stepping stones to go on with your life and live above these things.

    James 4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

    God is in control of everything, so do not fret. As a Christian in a cruel and antagonist world, we need to be greater and nobler than the petty world around us. Even though these people hurting you are supposedly Christians, and it happens in church, you should not let that move you. Even Christians are worldly sometimes, and there are fake Christians in every church. Do not let this surprise you.

    Matthew 10:16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

    We are to be better than the petty world. We are to understand how Satan works, and not fall for his traps.

    Our Response to Aggression and Hurt

    Forgiveness is a first response. In other words, don’t talk small talk to heart. Just ignore it if you can. Forgive the person that offends you. Love the sinner and hate the sin they do. Realize that just as Satan at times moves you to do wrong, he does the same in other people’s lives, and you must understand what to do in the can of someone offending you.

    But be very careful here. When a preacher preaches a passage of Scripture, and it tears at your heart, the problem is not with the preacher. He is just doing his job, and apparently well. The problem is that it hurt you because you have sin in your life. Dealt with the sin before God. Give thanks to the preacher.

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